Wow I am back after more than half a year!
And so I just posted 1 post from Europe and have totally given up on that because I got pregnant (and was tired and lazy)! Our honeymoon baby is now here with us and we are ever so thankful for this precious gem. One day, I will probably forgot all about the details of the birth of my first child and so I shall pen this down right now.
Our Little Eden
We have named our baby Eden since she was 14 weeks in my tummy. At that time, we just got to know we will be having a daughter. The estimated delivery date was 7 July 20, and we were happy that she was going to be a July baby, just like her parents. But apparently, she did not want to share the same birth month with her daddy and mummy!
The Surprise
On 15 Jun, which is my mother's birthday, I felt some water flow down. The underwear felt liquid wet and it was not the usual kind of moisture from vaginal discharge. My immediate reaction was "Omg" and then I proceeded to the toilet to check. I was certain that I did not accidentally pee in my pants, and there was no odour or colour. Is this the time?! But then I remained relatively calm and thought that this can't be it.
I heated up the green bean soup I daopao-ed home from my mum's place yesterday for breakfast. And while having my soup, I googled to find my answers. It could be that the waterbag broke, and I was waiting for the pain to set in before anything. Since it was a working day (thank goodness for work from home!), I quickly went to clear my emails first. And the next important thing was to pack my hospital bag! I was already intending to do so, but little did I know I ended up packing so last minute. My written to-bring-list has helped a lot. And I was still squatting and all to get my stuff ready.
The husband was also working from home and we decided to call the clinic after their lunch hours. The staff told me to get my things ready and come down for the doctor to check.
"Should I cut my nails?" I asked my husband.
He looked mildly irritated and replied me that he does not have much time before he had to come back home for his work. We needed to get to the clinic and come back as soon as possible. I showered, had my Hor Fun lunch, and we went down to Thomson Medical Centre. Everything felt normal, just having slight pain like menstrual cramps so far.
At the Clinic
We reached the clinic around 3pm, and waited for our turn after those patients with appointment. The gynae did a scan on my belly and things looked normal. The swab was put in twice into the vagina to check whether amniotic fluid was present. There was a combination of yellow and blue, and it was inconclusive of whether it was indeed amniotic fluid or just a large amount of vaginal discharge.
She also did a physical check and when she pressed on the inside, I felt a rather intense menstrual cramp! 1 cm opening, she said. Due to a scheduled surgery at 4pm, she ordered me to do a cardiotocography to record the fetal heartbeat and uterine contractions, while waiting for her to get back. The heartbeat was good but the contractions were kind of non-existent.
I think the gynae may have done another type of swab test at this point, and the results showed 1 line (negative amniotic fluid). She advised that it may just a be a leak and not the real waterbag bursting. Actually, I really cannot remember what she said already. I know she said that we can go back and monitor and come back when a regular flow of fluid is observed.
And then suddenly, a second faint line appeared on the test! This is machiam like a pregnancy test and now it is positive amniotic fluid presence. She took back everything she just told us. Our next action plan was either to induce now or wait for natural pain/induce the morning 8am. And the one thing I was asking was whether I can still eat anything after induction.
It is Time
We decided to induce immediately rather than going back and then coming back. We were still aiming for a natural delivery and the doctor went through the procedures and risk involved again. It was really funny because my husband was entirely unprepared. See, I should have cut my nails!
I was admitted into the delivery suite, which was kind of like a waiting room before the actual labour starts. A gown was given to me to change into and I wore it the opposite side haha (I asked the nurse if I was wearing it correctly). My husband went to register me while I was figuring out the gown in the toilet. He ordered food from Yayoi and we shared my tuna sandwich together.
(Later on, the nurse was saying that I can only eat light. That was why they only provided me with sandwich.)
The Waiting Game
The medicine/pill to induce labour was given through the vagina at around 6.30pm. It was to be monitored for 2 hours. Later on, they also gave something like the liquid enema to make me clear my bowels, and I was to hold it as long as possible before letting it go. I guess this step is done to prevent any potential poo-ing during the actual pushing session. At about 11.30pm or so, my lower back was painful and 酸. And there I was hearing my neighboring mummies requesting for epidural, and wondering about the need for it, but it was still nowhere near the pain I was going to experience.
My gynae came around midnight to check on me - cervix opened 1.5cm only. A large amount of fluid whooshed out this time. She said the membrane seemed to have broken already but the baby's head was blocking the entrance. And that was the start of the uncomfortable feeling of constant water flow down there, and you feel your butt all wet while laying on the absorbent pad. After I had 2 packets of biscuits and milo, I went to the toilet for the last time kiaping the pad in between to absorb the flow lol.
They had to start me on the drip to further induce labour as I was not in much pain at that point still. From this time onward, I was stuck to the bed. The needle was poked through the vein on the hand, and I must say it hurts a lot more than the usual blood drawing. My blood was also drawn from there for testing as we opted for
cord blood donation. It was only recently that I completed the administrative procedures for donation and I did not even know what is the next step since we admitted 3 weeks earlier. We just informed the hospital about it, showed them the softcopy documents signed, and they provided the collection kit and settled the rest.
It was quite a weird and interesting experience when the nurse assisted with shaving down there, just so that nothing blocks the vagina pathway. So mummies, don't worry too much about it. I think it is so normal in their everyday job and there is no need to be embarrassed about it. I was then pushed away into the actual delivery room to wait for the contractions to kick start. The husband now has a comfortable sofa to rest on, and a private toilet to use. Since I was hooked on the drip, I could only call for a nurse to provide a bed urinal bowl to pee into. Even though you have the urge to pee, it actually takes a while before the pee really comes out.
Pain started to kick in and the lower back begin to feel it worse. The urinal bowl was able to relieve some pain at first as I rolled my lower back against it. I was also sitting up and stretching the back, which I was later told that I should not. At this point, distraction and music still helped. At around 3.30am, the lower back pain and front abdominal pain intensified. I tried to reposition myself from time to time but the back was awfully sore. My husband also helped to massage my back to ease the pain.
At 6.30am, I decided to try the laughing gas after hearing the advice of the nurse on my pain relief options (Laughing gas, Injection, Epidural). Every time I feel the pain, I was to take in a deep breathe. I took 2 consecutive breaths generally as the 3rd breath made me feel like I was passing out soon. It makes you feel giddy with blurrish vision, like as if you were drunk.
At 7am, I decided on having the epidural. The pain was already 9 out of 10. Everything I learned through youtube on hypnobirthing and positive birth experience disappeared. I was shivering like crazy. The pain seemed to come every 1 minute or so and I did not even have any time to rest. The feeling is similar to having an extremely intense menstrual pain from the lower abdominal and back. Every time the surges came, I just wished it would go away.
The nurse checked, and guess what?
The dilation was still only 1.5cm!
The powerful contractions came but the labour was not progressing.
I was hoping the epidural can help to relax my muscles and release the tension so I can open better.
The anaesthetist came walking in with a commanding but reassuring tone for me to follow her instructions. Husband stepped out of the room. The nurse helped me to hug my knees and curl up while lying on my side. And then suddenly, I was kind of forced to take in the laughing gas without any breaks. The pressure inside the mask seems much stronger, and I was struggling to break free for a normal breath. I could hear the anaesthetist explaining stuff but I don't know what. The voice repeated itself, until I passed out. I remember feeling the needle going into my spine twice but it was only the slightest pain. When I woke up, I did not even know how long I was asleep. Husband walked in and said it was only 10 minutes. Apparently, they have purposely made me "faint". I guess this took away the fear of needles at the spine and made the process quicker.
My whole body felt relaxed yet heavy, but there was still milder contraction pain on one side of the body. I fell asleep (yay!) and woke around 9am when my gynae came to check on me. She said my contractions were really good but...
Dilation was still stuck at 1.5cm. WHAT!?
We were given the option to wait longer for the epidural to kick in further or opt for emergency cesarean section straight away. We chose to wait but the deadline was up till 12pm as the waterbag has broken more than 24 hours already.
Around 10 plus, I woke up groggy with the whole body feeling very numbed, with no pain at all. My emotions suddenly overwhelmed me knowing the fact that my baby is coming out too soon. I miss having her to myself, and have yet to start my leave to truly enjoy the last of my pregnancy. 我好舍不得, even though my baby is actually coming out to see me for real. The side effect (epidural) of nausea started to kick in and I fell asleep.
And here she is, my Baby Girl
When I woke up again (noon), my heart knows it was going to be an emergency c-section. True enough, there was no progress at all. 1.5cm stays as it is, like my body was not ready at all. My legs were shivering as part of the side effects. I was having a fever at this point, and it is probably the reason why my husband was not allowed to accompany me in. I was more worried about my baby's condition rather than having the fear of going into the operating theatre alone.
Many people were involved. I was pushed from the delivery room to the operating theatre. It was a lot brighter. Since they are operating on a different area, the nurse assisted with shaving again lol. I think the same anaesthetist was present too. She assured me that it will not be painful. I was kind of drowsy and numbed at this point. I only remembered that they tested whether I felt any pain with a sharp pinch at the area to be cut open. And then I may have felt some cuts across the skin, not too sure. The more significant thing I felt was the many hands/people pushing down on my abdomen area till I felt breathless. The shield was blocking so I could not see a thing. It just felt like a whole group being involved. It was not too long before my baby was out. I recall hearing my baby's cries. And I remember they put my baby to my face for 1 second kind.
It feels sad that I was that drowsy (think the epidural was doubled) and not in the right state to welcome my baby. But somehow I got a first photo with my baby that I don't remember taking (I was looking at the cam!). It was sent to my husband's phone number. He told me that the process was quick, only around 10 mins before baby was brought out. Even though he was dressed in full protective suit, he could not carry the baby yet as it was too cold for her on the outside of the womb. He was asked to check the baby's features, number of toes, fingers etc.
After the surgery, I was more awake but still really sleepy. I remember thanking one staff before they pushed me to the monitoring room and did the process of changing. I asked the nurse whether my baby is okay, and she was really reassuring. Husband waited quite long before he saw me in the ward. It was about 2 hours later (3plus), but it did not actually feel that long. With the urine catheter and stockings on, I could only stay in bed. The abdomen wound area felt numbed.
My baby was brought to us around 5pm that day. That was our first official meeting and we had the skin to skin session. I could not really see her face as she was laying on me, facing away from me. So I used my phone to look at her haha. It was tough to even shift her position as the wound would hurt.
I was only allowed to drink water a couple of hours later, and as no vomiting occurred, I could eat my porridge and soup dinner.
Definitely, this was not how I wanted it to be.
But ultimately, the most important thing is the safety of baby and mummy.
And this shall remain as my unique experience and memory!
