For the peace of mind

The awaited appointment date is today.

Last year August when I had my chicken pox, I felt a lump somewhere at the neck area. I asked the doctor then, whether was it due to my chicken pox virus, causing the area to swell. He said probably. 5 months later, the swell is there still. I went to the polyclinic doctor in February for consultation. She said it's probably just a swell in the lymph node, which is normal. She suggested giving me antibiotics to see if the swell goes down but then the swell has already been there so long so its most likely of no use. Hence, for the peace of mind, I wanted a referral to Tan Tock Seng hospital for a thorough check. 

The doctor today is quite a jovial and fun person. Not those stern and scary ones. After examining that lump, he gave me two choices. Since it's only about 1cm big, I could either go for regular checkups or take some samples of the tissue to check. But its been there for about a year already I should just check the tissues. He needed to do the scope thingy again [last year November I had a nose check at ttsh too, outcome: allergy rhinitis ;(]. Paid $98 dollars again for the use of the equipment since its after 6 months since the first usage. 

The scope is like a long device, the tube will be put into each nostril to observe the inside of the nose and probably even further down? The doctor sprayed something to both the nostrils [not sure if its anaesthetic but I feel slightly numb in the nose and throat] before inserting the tube. It went in the right side first and its so icky because you feel something in your nose. A little bit painful. Fear and tears built up in me. The doctor, upon seeing my panicky face, assured a faster examination on the left side. Okay done. Measured blood pressure and proceeded to the other room. 

Few minutes later, the same doctor came over. This time he needed to get some sample tissues from the lump. I sat there, bf standing further in front. Anxiety and stress piled up. He disinfected the area, with anaesthetic too, den using a needle (should be), he poke poke and poke. It's a bearable needle poking pain. Then, the other female stuff said it was'nt enough. So there was a second poking session. And the third. The third was much much more painful. I had to close my eyes and breathe but tears were building up. At the last part, my body winced involuntary with the pain. After it ended, I cried. Although it was not extremely painful, I just cannot seem to control the naughty teardrops. The doctor also consoled and apologized to me haha. Thankful for bf who was with me throughout the process, making it less scary.

Results come out two weeks later. The doctor is positive that everything will be fine, especially given my age. We shall see.

I cannot stress enough the importance of health. Cherish.