Children

People say that they don't like children because no children like them.

This is referenced from a post on Xiaxue's dayre. I agree with her. There is a difference in children's behavior depending on whether you are in the inner circle, outer circle or stranger category. 

My mum took care of my two younger cousins since they were young, so the daily interactions put me inside their inner circle. I had no problems bonding with them, making them laugh, carrying them and etc.

On the other hand, it took hard work to gain the trust and bond with my nieces. They see me only once in awhile and I guess to them, I was basically a stranger. I felt that they disliked me. When I was around, they tend to misbehave more. They cry because their parents want them to greet me. They refuse to let me carry them. They refuse to smile for a photo with me. Things like that make me think that I am bad with children, which I am la. Haha.

The situation got better when I started going over weekly to tutor them [K1, K2 only, but you know foundation is very important]. The occasional gifts from overseas also helped with our relationship. Haha, bribery works. As there are more interactions, they may feel closer to me. I started out tutoring Chloe, who is the older sister.

At that point of time, her younger sister, Cheryl, still kept a distance from me. When she eventually agreed to let me teach her, the bond just got stronger. She would initiate conversations and greet me with some enthusiasm. Recently, she even agreed to go out with me alone [which she had refused for very long because she is afraid since her mummy won't be there].

I have brought Chloe home for a stayover and a day outing before. She was perfectly well behaved until the moment my bf appeared. Despite the fact that I have kept reminding her that my bf would be joining us for dinner, she cried when she saw him, even though I did not force her to greet him. Then, she wanted her mummy. So I called my sister, and she had to use some bribery skills again to make her mood be better. It's not that she dislikes my bf [because he didn't do anything], nor is she a naughty or spoiled kid. She just feels scared because he is a stranger to her.

The two girls also have a baby brother. At first, baby Caden was okay with me carrying him and all. As he grows, he began to recognize his inner circle. He is now only willing to be carried by people whom he sees often. And my once a week visit is too little for him. He would cry if I force carry him T.T. 

All my effort will be gone to waste soon. Tuition has stopped because I have started working. I cannot visit often because my work ends at 7pm and it would be so late when I reach admiralty. I am going to revert back to being a stranger soon.

P.s. Children exhaust me. Somehow I felt so tired when I brought the kids out. And this definitely makes me appreciate my freedom now.