What do I want?

This is a question to myself.

Just what do I want to do?

It's been 3 months since I am done with my exams and a month now since I have officially graduated. Uni semester have started and now the pressure is on me. NO MORE HOLIDAYS! Since I am not rich enough to travel around the world before I embark on a career, it is now. So I started to look for jobs in the beginning of August.

I sort of know what I want. The dating industry, as I have told the close ones. I have sent my resume and inquired about career opportunities from some of them. No results yet since I just did it. Looked at some other interesting companies' website and tried my luck too. 

Of course, there are also career platforms like jobsdb, jobsbank, career@gov etc etc. I visited those but got really demoralized. Why? The jobs either require experience or are those office desk bound jobs. I don't want to get into a simple administrative job from the start because that is what I have been doing during the holidays. I want to learn something, I want to do something different. And for the more interesting jobs, they require specific skills and experience that I can't give. That is why I decided to look at specific company's website instead for any career openings. 

To date, I have only sent out 3 resumes (& cover letter) HAHA. But that's because I am still quite specific at the moment. A couple of companies have replied me that they aren't hiring at the moment, and I really thank them for their reply instead of leaving me hanging. What should I do if nothing progresses? Take up any jobs offered on the career platforms like what most people do? I feel the pressure to find a job already T.T.

Recently, my bf shared with me his dream. We have been there before but I did'nt know his specific plan. His words enlightened me. He is someone who knows what he wants and he knows how he want to get it. Whether in the end he gets the dream is another story, the important thing is to have a vision. 

Just as my sister told me a few days back. Her dream is to open a provision shop by the beach in some other country. Her shop will sell food, drinks, bikini, beach items, and etc. There will be a hammock on the trees nearby... Life is slow paced and relaxed. She also thought of being a gardener, in which she will grow special flowers and plants at some place. I will be in Singapore, open a flower shop and import from her HAHA. My mum can be the one tending the shop (since she got experience due to her part time job). Few years back, she mentioned that she wanted to be a farmer. Have some sheeps and grow food. A life that one may not be able to get in Singapore. But she knows what she wants and she will probably fulfill it someday in another country.

I have my own interests. But these interests aren't huge enough to be a career. I like to make cards but my skills are too noob to be hired. I like to draw but it's not developed enough. I like to sing but I'm not good enough for the stage. I want to dance but I can't lol. Anyway, all these hobbies are difficult to turn into a career in the Singapore industry right?

Then I realized. My initial dream is real! 

My dream is to be...............................

A HOUSEWIFE.

It's not that I don't want to work outside (which reminds me, housework is also work ok! and one can still work outside even if she is a housewife), but the idea of being someone's wife appeals a lot to me. My dream is to marry the man who loves me, and the one I love back also. Therefore, my job would be to be his wife, his housewife, and the mother of his children. 

But now I'm not there yet.

Back to thinking what I want to do with myself for now.