What I Want

I am taking reference from this post on "7 Things Women Really Really Want in a Relationship". It's written from a woman's point of view and I think the points are so true. They reflect what I want.

1) Time

This is no surprise. Every girl wants attention and time from her other half. Honeymoon period? We didn't have any. That sucks, but I have moved on. The amount of time couples get together is really dependent on their lifestyle and preference. What is more important is the understanding from each party to accommodate to each others schedule. And if the time you spend with each other is already so limited, please keep away your phone and pay 100% attention to your girl when she is in front of you. Some couples talk on the phone regularly too, but we can never pass this thing.

2) Spontaneity and Surprises

This might be lacking in our near 6 years relationship. We have been to almost all the attractions in Singapore, and I know it's pretty hard to plan some date day because we don't know where to go. But I really don't like hearing "Singapore is too small". Our meetings are so routinized nowadays. Routine is actually a good thing [Running Man every week is fun], but it gets boring. I am not saying there is no spontaneity or surprises in the relationship, but more should come, in a more regular stream. One can't keep harping on the past old surprises that happened.

"Surprise her with an impromptu getaway for the weekend; hide sweet little notes in her bag; turn up with flowers when there isn’t any special occasion to do so; tell her to get dressed immediately because you have just booked a table at her favourite restaurant."

Baby, I realized you haven't given me anything related to what you are good at. Relating to computers, you can compile songs, pictures or create a mini game. Or animation kind of thing? 3D figures. Build something for me which lights up [I am thinking about your electrical board]. And now you can video yourself too haha. Or a maths theme puzzle? If you can't draw, you can write me a story. But you know, your lobster drawing is the cutest lobster I have ever seen :). There are so many possibilities.

3) To be understood, in our language.

Yes, do not take our words literally. You need to observe the overall situation and her expression too. It takes time and effort to master this skill. Ultimately, she's your woman. You should be able to figure her out as time goes. Why do women not say things directly? I guess from my point of view, I want to see whether my bf understands me deep enough. And also, many things are not meaningful anymore when it's said out loud. 

"Can you buy me flowers?" VS The flowers magically appears on your office table. Well, this can be put under the spontaneity and surprises category too. 

Baby, I think you do relatively well here. 

4) To be praised/ To feel beautiful.

I think women should learn how to feel beautiful herself. However, it wouldn't do good if the other half tend to put her down or doesn't praise her at all. We feel beautiful because you remind us that we are. Don't do any comparisons or contrast though. How do I say this? Don't tell your girl she is not fat when she feels like she is, tell her she is beautiful despite how she feels. My bf telling me I am not fat doesn't make me feel less fat actually [I have those "I feel fat today" syndrome, although I shouldn't be agreeing with the societal defined beauty], especially when I can't fit into those old pants anymore. And if your girl is sensitive about say, her bust size. Don't even try to convince her that she is big [because she knows she is not], or the opposite. Just don't even mention anything about size. Get it?

Tell her she is gorgeous for herself, don't tell her she is prettier than whoever.

5) To be heard.

Sometimes, I don't feel like I am heard. My words are not taken in seriously enough dear. An article I read before stated that men tend to propose solutions to women when they complain about something. While it seems logical to do so, women just want you to listen to them instead. Some things cannot be solved, and they don't want to solve it, so please just be their listening ear. It's better than they don't tell you anything at all [because they give up on talking to you to feel better]. And when they tell you about their experience, sometimes it is not good to insert your own experience and then compare.

6) To be your princess and to feel special.

I have no complains here. Bf always makes me feel princess. :D

"Give her pet names; show her off in front of your friends because you are proud of her; do things for her and only for her; draw the line clearly with your female friends so she feels secured."

7) Consistency.

Continue to do the things you have been doing since the start. That's probably how she even fell in love with you in the first place. Everything seems pretty consistent in mine, but maybe that's because there is no honeymoon period [you know, the time when you do a lot more stuff] in the first place. HAHA. Bf still holds the door for me, carries my bag if it's too heavy, sends me home every time... I think it is consistent :D.

With that said, don't do too much at the start. You will have a lack of things to do afterwards. And when you do less, it seems like it is not consistent anymore.

8) Effort 

This last point is added by me. Women want men who show that they put in effort in maintaining the relationship. He should put in effort to be on time for her [too important for me]. 

He should want to keep in shape for her. Many guys slack off in appearance especially after marriage thinking that they already have their women. There's always advice for women to maintain their shape to stay attractive for their other half, so I think it should apply to men too. We want to fall in love with you again and again. We want to stay attracted to you. And that's not to have some super muscular body. It's the effort that counts. 

And also, women like to dress up because we think you would be proud to have us looking good for you. Hence, putting some effort in your dressing is very important. If you don't know how, learn. Youtube or Google is there to help. We also started from scratch. Appearance may be secondary, but appearance can make us be so in love with you.

I know this might be hard, because sometimes I don't even understand myself.

Just don't give up, you will soon master the skill of understanding YOUR woman.